There, there! They're there, their children are there.

Today, I'd like to talk about a couple of confusing sentences.  Most of the material herein is not my original material, but I'd like to put my spin on it and expose it to a broader audience.  The 4 of you who read this being my broader audience, of course.

Have you ever gotten a text message like this: "i'm heading they're right now," and then fought every urge to reply - as Ross did to Rachel - that T-H-E-Y apostrophe R-E means "they are."  T-H-E-R-E means "there!"  Or maybe you didn't fight the urge.  How'd that work out for you?  What awful judgments will be lying in wait for the sender of this sentence to your pocket communicator: "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo."?  Not so fast, because...

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo is actually a grammatically correct sentence.  So, too, is "Smelt smelt smelt smelt smelt smelt smelt smelt."  How?  Let's start with the buffaloes.  "Buffalo" is being used in 3 different senses here.

     1) Buffalo  =  proper noun,   a city in new york
     2) buffalo  =  noun,               a bison
     3) buffalo  =  verb,                to bully

One note before we begin to analyze this sentence - the proper noun "Buffalo" is being used as an adjective here.  It modifies the noun buffalo (a bison) to describe where that bison is from. 

The sentence could stand some punctuation to be more easily read.  Let's supply that now.  Buffalo buffalo, Buffalo buffalo buffalo, buffalo Buffalo buffalo.  Got it?  Not yet?  One thing that helps to keep yourself from getting lost in the puddle of buffaloes is to use the capitalized Buffaloes as cues to the rest of the sentence.  And, to make it more explicit, let's substitute the alternate meanings for the words: Buffalo bison, Buffalo bison bully, bully Buffalo bison.  Meaning ultimately that bison from Buffalo who are bullied by other bison from Buffalo, themselves also bully bison from Buffalo.  The sentence is grammatically identical to this sentence about dogs who are chased by cats, but who also chase those very cats:  Stray dogs, stray cats chase, chase stray cats.

Smelt smelt, smelt smelt smelt, smelt smelt smelt works similarly.  Smelt is being used 3 ways here as well.

     1) smelt  =  noun,         a type of fish
     2) smelt  =  verb,          past tense of smell
     3) smelt  =  adjective,   the quality of having been smelled

For more exotic fare, let's ponder this nugget of encephalopathy-inducing grammar.  The following sentence (while needing punctuation) is grammatically correct:  James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher.  Punctuated, to enlighten us as to its meaning, it now reads: James, while John had had "had," had had "had had"; "had had" had had a better effect on the teacher.  Yes, that's 11 hads in a row!

It appears James and John had had a little writing contest.  Each, at a key point in their essays, had a choice to make.  To use "had" or "had had."  Because there is some ambiguity in English over which to choose (if you had something in the past, but no longer have it does that mean you had had it?) both James and John took an existential leap and followed their hearts.  John chose "had."  James chose to write "had had."  James, it seems, won the day and the teacher's affections, as "had had" had had a better effect on her.  Now, don't even get me started on the difference between "affect" and "effect."

After borrowing from others for the above illustrations, I now leave you with this comforting thought below of my own creation, gleaned from my title above, which I enjoy because it has 3 consecutive homophones of "there" and 5 overall uses of it in a row, without being too confusing, as this run-on sentence has grown to be.


"There, there! They're there, their children are there, and their parents are there.


For more fun with sentences like these, check out this wikipedia page which contains one of my favorites:
Wouldn't the sentence 'I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign' have been clearer if quotation marks had been placed before Fish, and between Fish and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and And, and And and and, and and and Chips, as well as after Chips?